Friends with Benefits

Blur

Greenway

                                                                    Our Special Guests

Togetherness

Anders and Friends

Put Your Banana in my Pouch #weneedenergy

2 Dudes (+1 Ginger) & 40 Gnarly Miles

Pre-ride Photo Shoot with the Monkey

!Reflection!

So Lost

Legends of a Hidden Temple

Marty posting up on the bridge over HWY 100

Aaron and I are extremely religious so there's nothing we enjoy more than expressing our Christian heritage. We like to do this in creative ways instead of the typical bombing of abortion clinics. On this day, we wore Christmas sweaters and took to the streets on our bikes. It was like our own version of the Crusades. The bikes were our stallions and our sweaters were our swords to combat today's secular pagan culture.

We planned to ride from our usual base camp of Dinkytown and ride to Uptown-a short ride as the crow flies but we said, "screw the crow because we are humans and we are made in God's image to dominate all other inferior forms of life." Our mission was to meet up with a fellow disciple named Colin Sandoe in Uptown. Our ride was a bit longer than we had planned but, hey, God works in mysterious ways. We decided that maps are another sign that humans have lost their faith in the Lord, so we opted to let the Holy Spirit guide us and the Christmas Spirit to keep our tootsies cozy. Our journey was long and chilly but we are confident that it resulted in powerful evangalizing to countless heathens.

In the 4th chapter in the 19th verse of the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus says "come follow me...and I will make you fishers of men." We adhered to the first part of this inspirational passage because we were definitely following Jesus. After all, we did not have a map or any sort of directions. Unfortunately we could not hold true to our standard literal interpretation of God's Word with the second part of this verse because it was too cold to fish. It was more like we were ice fishing for men (get it? because it was cold!). We usually condemn loose and liberal interpretations of the Bible (as well as well as loose and/or liberal women) but in this case we feel that God's plan prevailed.

After 3 hours and about 40 miles of riding (through Dinkytown, North Minneapolis, Robbinsdale, Crystal, Golden Valley, and finally Uptown) our modern times Crusade came to an end. We arrived in Uptown which is like a current day Gomorrah a hotbed to countless forms of evil from drugs and alcohol to adultery and from gluttony to sodomy. Because we were in such a God-forsaken place, I had a beer and we stuffed our faces with unhealthy appetizers. We even committed an indirect form of adultery by oodling over all of the urban eye candy of the female variety. The fact that Brother Aaron and I were overtaken by such temptations is proof that the Devil is real and is taking hold of America and can trip up even the most devout followers of Christ like ourselves.

We had a jolly time with our friend Colin at the Uptown Cafeteria despite the fact that the presence of Satan was ominous. We engaged in fellowship and laughed; we discussed different strategies to annihilate such negative influences on America's Christian background as Santa, Barack Obama, the Teletubbies, and vegan diets. In short, we constructed a game plan to reinvigorate America's Christians to fight evil in all its forms. Stay tuned for more updates on this mission.

Merry Christmas America!

Why?

Because Happy Holidays is for Liberal Pansies

Nippin' Out

I am currently student teaching high school biology at Brooklyn Center High School. I have loved working at this school but being a perfect teacher is exhausting. Even though I am a perfect teacher, I still get stressed and frustrated. After a long day of creating the next generation of brilliant scientists, all I wanna do is chay with my boy Marty. This is exactly what we did on Friday. We again took off from his crib in Dinkytown and wandered the streets of MPLS on our 2 wheelers. It was a nippy day but the sun and expectations for a good weekend kept us rolling. We meandered through Dinkytown and had a jolly old time. We found some cool things during our journey including some single track covered with a light dusting of the white stuff. Aaron decided to nut up and attempt to shred the newly discovered trail despite the fact that he was missing a front brake. He took a nice digger on a sharp turn but brushed his self off and we continued our ride. We later were graced by the presence of a lone bald eagle right next to the Coffman Union at the U. Our ride was cut short because Marty decided to get a job like a turd but before the fun was over, we found a gnarly rock garden beneath a bridge so obviously we had to shralp. It was super rugged and technical descent down this slope but we rode away safely. Stay tuned for more posts with pictures of our rides as well as song recommendations. We are even considering beer and bar/restaurant reviews. Contact us with requests/comments. Marty and I are people people. In other words we love friends and welcome all to ride with us unless your name is Hitler or Jerry Sandusky.

Hugz and Kissez,

Derz

Found While Riding Near Target Field

Urban Shredder

First Ride

After eating some candy, Anders Borg Hanson and I decided to ride our bikes around the city.  Saw a ravenous  fox eating fast food and some historical babes out  for a run.  Our trill riding is powered by untainted melodies and muscles.  We take pictures of our travels and take requests where we should go.  Anders and I are trying to become famous in the city of Minneapolis, hopefully get some billboards and bus advertisements.  We are advocates of pedal power and spit in the faces of capitalist gas guzzlers, but not really.